Week from Hell… No Just another week on earth

Every day I feel like I have someone sitting on my chest

I cant breath… 

Everything going on in our life is a mess

How can I fix it, how can I make it right? 

I am so tired of Doctor appointments

I am so tired of lawyers

I am so tired of losing my friend and not understanding why

I hate that I wake up everyday in pain just to live through the day to wake up the next day in pain

I want a plan… 

Can I have a do over? Is it to late

Wake up tomorrow and just change my life. Change the way I live, the way I act, the things I do, become a whole different person? Maybe if I dislike the way things are going now I need to reset my life. My husbands life, my kids life. 

now its crazy meds talking… I just know I cant live the rest of my life like this. I have to change something, anything. HELP!!! 

Just Breath…

My chest gets tight
My head, its hurting
I look at you, so little
and your in pain…

Why? Why must this happen
Your not supposed to be like me
your supposed to live
live pain free

No worries, Happy life
No pain…
I wish I could kiss it all away
Pray it gone

If I could I would take it all away. I would rather have your pain then see you cry… I love you my little girl

live without regrets?

I try to live without regrets but after my lapse of judgment, my break of sanity this weekend. My rants on “You know who” I just feel guilty… Why do I feel guilty? All I did was get my feelings out for once. Rather than keep them bottled up inside with no one to talk to.

But now I feel like I have made this place not about me. More about her… I just want to erase everything. I just wish I could go back in time and never have met her… Life would have been so much easier. Nicer in a way.