Week from Hell… No Just another week on earth

Every day I feel like I have someone sitting on my chest

I cant breath… 

Everything going on in our life is a mess

How can I fix it, how can I make it right? 

I am so tired of Doctor appointments

I am so tired of lawyers

I am so tired of losing my friend and not understanding why

I hate that I wake up everyday in pain just to live through the day to wake up the next day in pain

I want a plan… 

Can I have a do over? Is it to late

Wake up tomorrow and just change my life. Change the way I live, the way I act, the things I do, become a whole different person? Maybe if I dislike the way things are going now I need to reset my life. My husbands life, my kids life. 

now its crazy meds talking… I just know I cant live the rest of my life like this. I have to change something, anything. HELP!!! 


9 thoughts on “Week from Hell… No Just another week on earth

  1. may you breathe in slowly
    and breathe out calmly
    resting gently
    sleeping well 🙂

  2. I’m so sorry you’re struggling. Just know that I am here for you and completely understand how you feel.

    • Thank you Joy! It’s to much right now. I can usually handle things but it’s all coming at me at once. I haven’t been able to leave my house for a week now. I’ve canceled all my doctor app this week, my kids activities or my husband has had to take care of it. After my daughters last dr app I’m back to charting everything she eats, her temp every day, her sleep, activities, headaches, when she gets sick, days she misses school. My son, thank god has been great this week except for a few times with his sister. I still do not understand why a 14 year old and a 9 year old would pick on each other. My husband is sooooo stressed with work, or business. I see it on his face every day. It makes me sad that I am not capable of doing more. I wish I could do more.

      I ended up losing over 20lb and that was after my neuroligist warned me not to lose any more weight. I’m not trying to… I’m trying to gain weight if anything. It’s scary when you eat and lose 5lb. So I went on a cinnamon roll diet. I have one every day. I’ve gained 10 lb back:) not the best way to do it but it worked and it was better than going in to see him and having him switch me to a beta blocker or something else.

      Sorry, for such a long reply. But I really don’t want to call anyone and yet I want to share my feelings. I trust you. I’m so depressed today and I just want to feel better. I have so many thoughts running around in my head.. I realize it’s easier to share what’s going on with my family than what’s going on with me. It’s weird being a mom and wife how they consume my life. There are so many things I want to talk about but just don’t know how to say. Or it just hurts to much…

  3. “Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” – St. Francis of Assisi.
    I don’t know if that helps, but I kind of followed it…on days when I felt so bad and hopeless, felt like I couldn’t do anything at all, like I was going to crumble away, on days when I just didn’t want to try anymore. I mean, when you feel like life is impossible and you just can’t do anything anymore, don’t do everything that you think you’re supposed to. Do what you know you have to. Because you want to be able to do everything and solve all the problems, and want to be healthy and strong again immediately, and want everything to be perfect, but it takes time…and strength, and so you must simply start with the littlest thing, and accept the little that you can do, and the fact that someday, maybe you can do more.
    – Enjoy the Cinnamon Rolls, and freely take the advice of this 22 year old with lotsa grains of salt, because I didn’t have a family to take care of on top of all the other problems, I merely had the struggles of health problems to contend with, but …I don’t know, I have this crazy idea that no matter how freakin messed up our lives get, there’s a way for us to deal with them and get through and still have some happiness and joy in the end. So. Yeah. – Catherine

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