When Life Was Simple…

So thats a joke… Life has never been simple. Life has never been easy. If it was I guess it wouldn’t be worth living, right? Some days I wish were easier, some days it would be nice to have nothing going on but I do not get to choose what happens in my day. So much has happened in my life that I have to hold inside. Someday I will burst… I may not be able to control my past, present or future but what I can do is control how I deal with it! How I look at life and the situations I am in can be dealt with in either a positive manner or I can just be grumpy about everything. Its easier said then done sometimes but I would rather talk about it, get my feelings out and try to be positive rather than holding it all in and just be negative all the time. All I see when I look around me is anger, frustration, and sadness. How did we get to this point? How do we get back to where we were? Faith, Hope, and Love…

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Keep Getting Hit and Hit Hard?

We were broken into last night… While sleeping last night someone(s) came onto our property and stole around $20,000 worth of our belongings. Its a hard hit. They stole things that to them mean nothing but are very personal to us. They took everything my husband needed to go to work on Monday, to provide for his family. To add insult to injury they then took off with my sons Dirt bike. When will this end?? I want my life back. Even a few days of just normal. What is normal anymore anyways?

You Can’t Break Me

I know your tactics. How you like to scare people or threaten them. You will never take away my free speech, you will never take away my happiness! Coming into my property and breaking into my vehicles, steeling from me. What does that prove? That you are pathetic and have no respect for your life.

I live in the light of the lord, you will never take my smile or happiness away. Even though you desperately try. Stop stalking me, Stop spending your life revolved around me. I want nothing to do with you. “crazy” person.

Today is another day spent with my family doing amazing things with amazing people! I couldn’t be happier today! Hope everyone else is having a great day as well:)

No Longer Silent!

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Rip Of The Tape!!! Stop caring what someone might think or say to you! You might be surprised how excepting people can be and if they judge you then really, do you care what they think anyways? I don’t… The only opinions that matter to me are my children and that is only to a point because they are children! This is the day that you speak your mind! It feels liberating to stop holding back my feelings, my emotions anymore. Yesterday I feel as if for the first time in over a year I could finally open my eyes and see. I could hear for the first time. I ripped of the tape and I can speak! Believe me I plan on speaking my mind!

Funny thing about freedom of speech… You Don’t Own It!!

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I may not like what you have to say. You may not like what I have to say but that is the beauty of being FREE!! Say what you want! What I won’t do is spread lies and talk poorly of others. Not only does that make you look like a shitty person when you act like that, why would you take time out of your life to make people feel bad about themselves? Spend time bringing people up in life! Make it a goal to do something positive even if it reaching out to one person a day to say something nice! I guarantee people will start taking the time out of their life to reach out to you! If enough of us do it emagine what could happen?

Not alone anymore…

I have know that I am not alone but in away when you have a “crazy” person in your life you feel alone. Others do not understand that this person could really do the things I tell them, you seem so unreal. Why? Why is it so hard to believe. I will tell you. Because you and I do not think like this “crazy” person. Our mind is not built like this “crazy” person. We would never hurt people, we would never plot or make plans to destroy “crazy” person or anyone for that matter even if we didn’t like the person. We spend our days living!! We spend our days with loved ones, our husbands, children, family, FRIENDS! People we care about, relationships we want to build and nourish. “Crazy” person spends the day filled in a hole of sadness trying to figure out how to bring everyone one else down. Coming up with ideas of how to hurt the people in and out of their life. Coming up with lies to cover up the other lies they have already told. You think that we are angry with you? You think that we are out to get you? I know this might be hard to hear but we feel sorry for you. The only feeling I have for you is pity. The only action I want is for you to be out of my life forever. Deep down you should even know better, you were once my friend. I would never do anything to harm you, your property, your family. I don’t have that in me. I think that is something you see as a weakness. The christianity in me, the forgiveness, the fact that I can move on where you sit and stew over everything and not only that, you also feel that everything that is done in life has been done TO you. Every person in your life has hurt you.

WAKE UP!!!!! This is getting old.. You playing the victim. People are starting to see the truth and the more people that see it, believe it and realize all the lies you have said about them how is that going to work out for you?

Why would you want to live your life a victim anyways?? It doesn’t make sense? How does that make you look as a women, a mother? I’ll tell you, pathetic. All you have done is alienate every single person that has come into your life. Your friendships and I might say even some family members are like a revolving door. They come in, smell your shit and walk right out.

My hope for you. Stop being a victim. Take r.e.s.p.o.n.s.i.b.i.l.i.t.y for the decisions you make in life. and yes I spelled it out for you because I am not sure you have ever heard the word before.

The purpose of this blog was something completely different and I went on a sideways rant.. What I was going to talk about, I met somebody Just like me. She has gone through the same things I have. She knows what I am talking about and it all makes sense to her. Its shocking how our stories are all the same and even the lies “crazy” has made up all sound alike. Its shocking to me how people believe the shit that is said.. But if people are going to believe lies good for them. I can not control others and I am not interested in trying. I am happy living my life to the fullest! Each day better than the last. Nobody can take away my happiness. You may have all the money but what is that going to do when we are all dead and gone? Nothing! You cant take it with you. Do you think anyone is going to cry when you are gone? Not really. It is about the relationships you make now, family, friends, the connections we have now until the end! Money wont make you happy but good luck trying.

This week got ahold of me…

Usually I take a hold of life. I run with it even if I am unable to do much with my day it is still my day. This week, I sit back and look at and it took over me. It is as if everything all the appointments and people around me just took over and had control of what I did and where I had to be. Its kind of frustrating because it almost feels like days I lost or at least parts of days. I know some people will look at that and think that is a bit selfish. At least I had those days, I am alive to live them but being sick most of my days it is hard to have so much time taken away and spent on so many things that I have little to no control on. So frustrating I had no time to even sit down and write or even read one blog this week… Even now I am in the middle of dinner the dog needs to go out I need to get laundry started the kids need to finish homework I need to take my meds before it gets late my cat is bugging me because he is hungry and I am taking the time to sit for 5 minutes to write!!!! I decided I get 5 minutes to myself!

Im not sure if it is my tremors starting something new and I do not want to tell my doctors but under my left eye has started fluttering for almost two weeks now. I think its stress. Lots of stress.. All I need to do is get back to a few minutes a day for myself and it will go away. Some things can not be controlled in life like the flutter under my eye but I can control a few minutes a day for myself. If I don’t how can I be good enough for everyone else around me???