I think it’s the cold talking?

Maybe I am going a bit crazy or the fact that I am sick and I am tired of being sick. I already have chronic pain and then to have this three week “cold” on top of it has pushed me over the edge. My Dr. today tested me for whooping cough of all things. I just about died… Of course I am allergic to the DPT vaccine so when he tells me it looks like and sounds like I have it and need to be tested for it I scrunch into a ball and say NOOOOOOOOO!

Next came the horrible test where he tries to stick 6 inch Q-tips down my nose. I have to laugh at this because he tried and I swatted his hand away. So we tried again with this time getting in only a little further. He looked at me like I was a bit crazy and said we needed to do a bit better. So we tried again. Well, after about a half dozen times trying we were done. With one side!

I don’t understand what was wrong with me today? I have been poked and prodded for years because of my brain disorder but today the thought of something going up my nose was not going to happen. I should have been stronger and told my brain that I needed to do what ever I had to, to stop coughing. To stop being sick…

 

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2015

Wow what a crap start to a year…

I can’t be alone on this one. I am not sure what to do when I see all the pictures of all the Happy people saying Happy New Year. Be happy for them or cry inside…

The last thing I got out of 2014 was a great big hug out of my daughter and a great big kiss from my husband. With BIG hopes of 2015 came Great big disappointments… like always when you hope for the best what happens??? I woke up with the biggest Migraine. Puking by 5/6am my Dr.s office closed all day. My neurologist is on vacation for two weeks so I cant even get in with him anyways. His partner isnt much help. They just tell me to go to the ER for Infusions… Otherwise I can go in Monday at 8:30am for infusions.

Question… when you have had a migraine for two days straight (sick in bed) and they want you to make an apointment to get infusions for 4 days later how does that make sense? I think to myself if I am still in bed 4 days later I will have killed myself by then:) Thanks but no thanks!

I already have daily headaches so I am in daily pain anyways but I manage at a reasonable level. But man is it getting a bit insane… Lack of sleep isnt helping.

Im working on a huge project with our largest contract. Not helping…

My son got in a huge fight with my daughter today when I tried to resolve it it backfired into him attacking me. Ive never seen anything like it. I dont even want to speak to him at this point..

I have court coming up in a few weeks my ex friend who wanted my husband/family/business is sueing me.. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. If I have any luck I won’t be there. My plan is to do what I have done this whole time.. Stay out of it. My life is so much better with the people I have in it now.

Holy crap… I need for 2015 to get better… I can’t even look at this as a “New Year” maybe I just need to take each day as it comes otherwise I am going to drive myself crazy…