Days like today where I feel overwhelmed. Swamped with work, lack of support from key people in my life, Doctor appointments, drowning in laundry and house work… the list goes on. I must remember to keep my voice. I tend to hide under a rock. Bury myself so deep that no one can find me. I stopped writing for almost a year. I stopped talking to so many people I even would dodge phone calls from close family and friends. If I have learned one thing from myself I need to keep my voice and in times that I am stressed, sad and utterly going crazy I must not hide from the ones I care the most.
I’ve kept to myself for so long that now my thought are all in a ball. Rolling around in my miserable head. Ready to be free! I have so many great stories.. Where to begin is the question? Regardless if anyone ever reads my blogs I want this to be fun, tell my life story, explain my experience with living with Adult Onset Arnold Chiari. Hopefully I end up helping someone and at the same time helping myself. God knows I need it!
I will not be silent any longer.
Does anyone ever go blank when asked “Tell me something about you”. I never know what to say. I guess I start with my age, which I usually get wrong and my kids correct (32). They get a kick out of the fact that mom can’t remember her own age. I tell people I am married to an amazing man. Two great kids! But nothing really describes me.. The other day I was asked what are my hobbies, anything I like to do? I started thinking of things my family does. Sports the kids play, husband loves to fish. I could not think of one thing that I like to do. Not one activity that I wake up and think, this would be great to do today!
I hate to say it but one day I won’t be sick anymore, wake up, open my eyes, take a deep breath and feel nothing. No pain, no pressure, no headache, no migraine, neck pain. Nothing.. That will be the day that I decide what I’m doing with my life and who I am. Right now I don’t like this person as much as the person I will be when the pain is gone and I am better. That is when I will start living again