I’m in bed where most people sleep. Most people find comfort or security. Instead I’m wide awake, I toss and I turn wondering why cant I just fall asleep one time! As I look up at my ceiling I get a bit more jealous of everyone in my house. Not that I want them to be in pain, not that I want them to be awake all night. I just want what they have. My sleeping angels all tucked in snug and asleep.. My husband sawing logs in his sleep louder than a chainsaw. Or even the animals content to sleep rolled up at the end of the bed.  Instead I get to watch them, listen to them..

Anyone with chronic pain knows what I’m talking about when I describe how it feels to lay in bed but you just can’t sleep. You want to.. Everything in you is telling you to go to sleep. My body gave up on me around noon today but my mind won’t shut off and my body aches. If I had the choice I would be asleep at 8pm but its going to be midnight again and no sleep. Soon the kids will be waking  up for school. I will be drained, no energy, feeling like a failure. The cycle continues…