They say knowledge is Power I say its pain
Once you know
You can never erase
I think of you and everything you have done
Makes me sick…
Your not a women
Your not even a person
Your a soulless, heartless, hateful
and I once called you a friend…
Today is the same as the last
The same as tomorrow
Never ending cycle
How do I break this
Make a change
I don’t, I can’t
Until I Die
No more pain…
In the spirit of sharing.. Something I have never opened up about. The loss of my father
The first week of February I went out to dinner with my step mom (Diane) my and and my two kids. The food was good the company was even better. Who knew that would be the last meal I would have with my dad, the last time I heard him say “I love you.” The next morning I get a call from Diane that my dad collapsed at work and was being rushed to the hospital.
I jumped in my car, called my siblings, get to the hospital and we wait. I see the ambulance pull in. I ran outside and I see them pulling my dad out of the ambulance on a stretcher, not breathing on his own. We go back in and we wait. Scared and unsure what was going on.
We go in to see him, it smells of death everywhere. He is in a medical induced coma. They are running tests to see if he is even still inside , alive. He has tubes down his throat for him to breath. His stomach pumping up and down with each breath forced into his lungs. I remember sitting there with my sister telling him “Daddy, your girls are here for you, we love you so much! Please wake up and come back o us.”
It was so emotional with each person talking to him, with every look at him, with every thought of loosing him.
We waited almost a week. Waited while they ran tests. While we prayed, stayed by his bed side. The smell of death in the air. We waited. We couldn’t leave him. Until the choice had to be made. We had to make the choice, and we made it.
Everyone said what they needed to say, we prayed, we gathered together and all at once the machine went off. The pumping stopped… The beeping stopped… He took one last deep breath and then stopped. I fell to the ground in disbelief …
My Daddy was dead
Darkness lays within
It takes away all your power
It makes you weak again and agaIn
Makes you hide, makes you cower
Though it is light out
You are still in the dark
A feeling of nothingness
By Me (inga32)